Rising depression

[Enemy Of Freedom]

Salaam. Wanted to know what people think. How would you link this back to capitalism?

http://style.uk.msn.com/health/artic...ntid=149327929

[neelu]

Gosh I think whole books can be written on this topic alone (and probably have been- then you see them promoted on Oprah). Right, this is the way I see it: some decades ago, the Kufaar noticed a problem in society which was widespread but often being swept under the carpet. That problem was the seemingly low status of women and to some extent they were right to recognise the following problems:

- Young women were having children out of wedlock and these children were either forcibly removed from them or their parents adopted the baby and pretended it was their child instead. Kufaar women wanted rights over their own bodies and the right to recognition to raise their own children

- Women were largely dependant on men for their needs which was fine if they were with good men (ie their fathers or husbands) who took care of their needs and fulfilled their rights but those who were negligent or abusive left women trapped and forced to choose between living with someone who beats them up a lot or living on the streets penniless

The first problem they attempted to solve starting off with the whole "make love not war" rubbish in the 60s which began to make fornication more fashionable. Illegitimate children were a consequence of this and the problem became so widespread it couldn't be hidden or swept aside anymore, so once something becomes really widespread, the Kufaar try to solve the problem by recognising and accepting it as something normal and fine (maybe politicians feel this will be a vote winner cos' such a large swathe of the population are affected by these issues). As those relationships weren't permanent in any way and often the women were left alone to pick up the pieces and raise the children alone, there was a rapid increase in single mothers.

The second problem gradually gained recognition over time after a few domestic violence cases ended up in women and/or their children getting killed. This led to attempts by feminists with the best of intentions to empower women to take control of their own lives so that they would no longer need to rely on men for all their needs. As women were able to gain some independance in the workplace and realised they didn't have to rely on men for everything anymore, the divorce rate increased. This was good news for women who were trapped in violent relationships and could now get support to manage their own lives, but it was bad news in the long term for society at large, because it didn't end there. Since then the tables have really turned and rather than divorce or independance being an escape route for desperate women to leave violent relationships, instead it has led to a whole set of new problems.

Gradually, it became more accepted for increasing numbers of women to get educated and in the workplace- not a bad thing in itself. This notion was taken a little too far though as women were put under pressure to be equal to their male counterparts in the workplace- which is disastrous. This came with the expectation that if they didn't have a partner/family support, they would need to rush back to work soon after giving birth and leave their children with strangers- no wonder they're stressed! Who looks after the home whilst they're out at work all day? THEY DO- so largely they're expected to do twice as much as they did before. This was the other side of that shining 'independance' coin.

They were right to say that women should have every right to succeed in their education and excel in their careers. They were wrong to allow women to be pushed into competing at the same level in the workplace without any regard for their role in the home as mothers. They were also wrong to allow men to be rendered obsolete in the process- as if they have no role in the context of a family unit because women were too busy trying to be both the mother and father by themselves. That just gives a bit of background but I guess it doesn't directly answer your question on the connection to the ideology so I better try and answer that now inshallah.

An Islamic perspective on the whole situation would've set things straight from day one. The main role of the men would be as breadwinners, but that doesn't mean they have no role in the home. As well as breadwinners, they're also fathers and husbands and have just as much of an important role in child rearing as the women in their lives. Being the breadwinner shouldn't prevent them from assisting their wives in the home from time to time, especially if she is in trouble (eg going through a difficult pregnancy and requires bed rest etc) though looking after the home side of things isn't his primary role, rather it is secondary and kicks in from time to time whenever necessary.

The woman's primary role is to look after the home and family. By all means, there is nothing in the deen to prevent her from getting an education or earning a halal income (though she'd need her husband's permission to leave the house to work but that's about it), but her primary role is to look after the children and home- which is a pretty massive responsibility. Kufaar show little recognition of this massive responsibility as though it can be fobbed off onto any babysitter or daycare centre and it doesn't matter. Anyone who has even spent a week babysitting a toddler niece or nephew will tell you it's hard work- let alone having that responsibility 24/7 with no tea break or lunch hour or clock out time at the end of the day. Although her primary role is to take care of the home and family, she can earn money but it should never be to the detriment of the family so her priorities are clear. This isn't as glamorous as having a high flying career (which they're so often pressured to have) but it does form a more stable basis for a family unit.

Kufaar show little regard for the role a woman's emotions play in raising children as well (several women I know of are in floods of tears on their first day back after maternity leave and return to work more out of financial pressures than out of a desire to succeed in their careers). This pressure they're under to prove they can equal men in the workplace pushes them to set aside their maternal instincts and family priorities (which is often what they don't want to do) for the sake of either financial security or to prove themselves as worthy of their positions. One of my childhood friends went to a work conference in another city. He said in the evening, he saw a senior female colleague on the phone to her child saying "Okay dear has the nanny read you a bedtime story? Ah good girl, I'll see you at the weekend". It was a MONDAY evening and she's saying she'll see her child at the weekend! Can you imagine the stress a women would be under when she lives like that?

As for the problems the Kufaar were attempting to solve with these changes.... there are many reasons that cause people to have children out of wedlock. I'll list them here and briefly how Islam would prevent at least some of these problems from occurring (I don't care if this list looks unpalatable to non Muslims this is just how it is):

- One reason women end up having children out of wedlock is that marriage is treated as obsolete and fornication is treated as acceptable and normal: Under an Islamic system some people would still fornicate, but I don't think it would be as widespread a problem because it doesn't have an air of social acceptability about it that would allow people to think everything would be okay if they did it. The greater emphasis would generally be on getting married in order to do such things and this context would make it easier for women to share the pressures of family life with another person rather than cope alone. This (and the hudud punishments) in itself would make it a relatively infrequent problem compared to what we see now

- Another reason is that it is acceptable for people to take intoxicants, especially alcohol: this is why February is peak season for abortion clinics (because of people getting drunk and having one night stands at Xmas parties). Obviously in an Islamic system, there would be a clampdown on the use of intoxicants so this would nip that problem in the bud

- As for the second problem (women trapped in abusive relationships): first of all under an Islamic system, the man wouldn't be able to take intoxicants (a key reason behind many people becoming violent), secondly an attempt would be made to mediate between them amicably (whereas these days among the Kufaar they call in lawyers paid to fight for the individual instead of the relationship) to try and see if there is a possibility of mending the relationship and resolving their differences. If that doesn't work and the problems persist, then it is written in the Quran (TMQ words to the effect) that a woman fearing cruelty can leave her husband and he has to return her mahr if he divorces her and they should fear Allah (swt) who is aware of what they do so that they address this issue in a fair way.

Tbh I'm not entirely sure as to the finer details of what happens to children after an Islamic divorce. As far as I know, the ex husband pays for the financial upkeep of the children, but if the woman decides to marry another person, then custody usually goes to the ex husband. My main point is though, that Islam already has an answer for many of these societal issues without the need for rearranging gender roles or anything like that- this in itself means neither gender is placed under inappropriate levels of pressure to do too much. There are exceptions for mitigating circumstances where child custody is concerned but I think that's what's usually supposed to happen. Allahu alim, please correct me if I'm wrong. Sorry this is long, I didn't expect to write a whole essay but there you go. Hope that goes some way to answering your questions inshallah.